Unspoken Agreements

by EFER41

Posted by EFER41

Unspoken agreements…

 

When people get together and start a relationship, there are usually a series of spoken agreements couples make that serve as a foundation for their bond, sometimes beneficial to the growth of the marriage and sometimes unknowingly disrupting to it, but what is usually most important and has a greatest weight on the direction of that relationship are the unspoken agreements that couples also make.

iS Couple Arguing 168334231 300x199 Unspoken Agreements %CategoryWhat is an unspoken agreement? It is an implicit, meaning never discussed or agreed upon, assumption, expectation or concession each person in the relationship is expected to fulfill in order for that relationship to continue without conflict surfacing.

The first unspoken expectation from the female side usually comes regarding the partner being their Prince Charming, (I talked about this in depth on “Purposeful Relationship”; If you have not gotten your copy get it here http://DecodeTheDynamics.com/FreeGift.

Usually women subconsciously expect that a man will compensate for her deficiencies, take care of her when she can’t, provide for her and the family, protect her, love her, cherish her, and so much more. These are part of the unspoken expectations that create a wall between two people, and usually become the source of resentment and conflict down the road.

So let me ask you, in your case, what are the unspoken agreements you have made in your relationship that are now sabotaging your happiness on a daily basis?

Here are some examples of unspoken agreements usually made in a relationship from the feminine side:
She is expected to agree to his way of viewing the world and life.
She is expected to always check with him before making any decision.
She is expected to only spend the money that he agrees on spending, and on the things he agrees are needed or are “reasonable”.
She is expected to cease speaking to her male friends.
She is expected to stop dressing too sexy.
She is expected to keep quiet about things that may show her dissatisfaction with the relationship.
She may be expected to never travel without him.
She is expected to live the rest of her life based on his view of how life should be lived.

And what are the unspoken things women expect from men?
He is expected to be the provider.
He is expected to be successful at his work.
He is expected to protect the family.
He is expected to take the family on vacations.
He is expected to remain strong in all situations.
He is expected to know what is best for the family.
He is expected to be supportive when she is in need.
He is expected to be romantic.
He is expected to make all financial decisions for the well-being of the family.

And these are only a few examples on How this things may be showing up relationships.

Most people believe their partner must act and react in a certain way so they themselves can be happy. The problem with this manner of relating is that it is a selfish way of looking at the relationship; instead of giving to the relationship, you end up always needing from it.

And we must remember this quote:
“We must be able to take or leave people before we can take them beneficially” Thomas Troward.

So let me ask you:

How are the unspoken agreements showing up in your relationship?

Are you taking or giving?
What is that you are you bringing to your relationship?
How can you bring more life into it, rather than expecting to be given all the time?

May you have a fantastic rest of the day

To your Infinite
Happiness, Health, Wisdom and Wealth

Erika Ferenczi

 


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Get her FREE Report “Purposeful relationship” to Uncover and Overcome the 6 Unconscious Mistakes you are making In your Relationship that are Sabotaging your business and your life at www.DecodeTheDynamics.com

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

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