My partner does not want me back.. What should I do?

by EFER41

Posted by EFER41

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This Week’s Question comes to us from Michelle.

Michelle from United Kingdom writes:

Hello Erika, I left my partner about 15 months ago, we have two children together. I however want to get back together, I told him that I still love him but he said he can’t go through the pain he did last time and what if I did it to him again. Since then we have spent time together with the kids and have had sex 4 times. I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he just say he doesn’t know how he feels about me I don’t know what to do, I love him so much. What should I do? be patient and wait for him to decide what he feels or tell him its time for me to move on? I’m scared, I will push him away and lose him for good but at the same time I don’t want to hurt like I am at the moment.

Please help.


Dear Michelle:

Thank you for your question. It is understandable you do not know what to do and are feeling confused by the situation, you do have two children and seem to care very much for your partner.

Every time a relationship ends it hurts, every time we fall it hurts, hurt and pain in relationships is part of being alive. I believe the only one who can answer the question of what to do is you. Now I do have a couple of things you may want to reflect upon to help you make a decision:

    • Why is that you left him the first time? You should have pretty good reasons, specially because you have 2 kids together, think about your real reasons to leave the relationship.
    • Has that situation changed in any way that you want to go back or are you wanting to go back just because you are alone, or afraid or believe will never find love again?

When someone tells you they do not know what they feel about you, I suggest you believe them. I bet he has mixed feelings for you too. Now. having sex on an off is not solving anything.

Now, no one can promise another person that they will never leave the relationship. If someone ever makes that promise may be with the best intention, but it may not come to be true at some point. Life includes change, and every one has the freedom to change his/her mind if circumstances change.

I advice you get very clear on why you left, what is that you truly want in this moment in your life and for yur family. have a talk with him and see if he wants to be part of your plan, if not move on, that may be the best gift you can give yourself and your children.

I also recommend you read this article: CLICK HERE to read the article.

I wish you and your family the best.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Naureen July 6, 2013 at 9:53 am

My ex broke up with me after 3 years. For the past 8 months we were in a long distance relationship. We bickered about small issues, and they seemed to take a toll on him, along with his exams. Now, he seems to be loving the fact that he is single, however, wen we do talk, there does seem a connection. I want him back. He was quite sad, when i told him, i would never be his friend again and so we started talking. But, when we do talk, he brings up events about the break up, that make us fight again. He knows i love him. But is he truely over me? i want him back.


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