Love and Relationships

by EFER41

Posted by EFER41

The truth is: Few Things have the power to impact your life and energy level as much as your intimate relationship. So much so it can wreck havoc when things don’t go so smoothly. Your relationships impact you emotionally, mentally, physically and also spiritually.

I’m sure you can relate to the profound connection and satisfaction you feel when you feel love in relationship, when you are truly connected to another person – both emotionally and spiritually. Life is beautiful. Everything is possible. Everything is amazing, and we tend to delight ourselves with the smallest of things.

On the other hand, when love and relationships are strained and cumbersome we suffer. It can be devastating to be involved in any bad relationship. So much so you struggle through life, have great difficulties to go to bed each night and feel like everything is too hard.

blog1 244x300 Love and Relationships %CategoryBad relationships add a great deal of stress to your life. They may turn you into a short tempered, sad, depressed, lonely, angry, misunderstood, isolated and frustrated person – even if you’re the go-lucky type.

Love and Relationships affect every area of your life…

I have yet to meet a person who does not have a profound desire and longing to experience love and be in a committed and satisfying relationship with another.

What is Holding You Back?

One of the main things that may hold you back from having great love and relationship are your belief systems around relationships, and about the way in which the world operates.

Fact is: almost always we all choose love and relationships and also life partners unconsciously. We choose them based on our beliefs and programming and sadly most times relationships are chosen based on the security they may provide.

Children need to be taken care of. Children are dependent and needy by nature, not by choice, but adults are supposed to be independent, adults can meet their needs through their own resources, so depending on others to fill these needs is a choice, whether you want to accept it or not.

When you choose a relationship based on security you are unconsciously turning into a child again. You are placing control of your life into someone else’s hands.Needless to say, you lose your freedom, your independence and after some time you loose also your self-esteem. So the real question is” How secure does that feel to you?

The problem is: people choose their relationships for security reasons… for them then, the relationship becomes an essential need for survival.

To experience a life of happiness and satisfaction is to experience a life of self-knowledge and responsibility.

If you want true happiness you first need to learn how to be independent again and you can do this easily with some simple tools and techniques… even if you’re in a relationship. Here are a few steps you can take right away:

1)    Take responsibility for your situation. You have no idea how many women write to me each day saying “he did this” “He did that” “How do I change him?” “he does not value me” If you were on my seat you will hold a PHD in relationships by now…. But here is the thing.. stop looking to the side and start looking within.  What part have you played in all this? How have you allowed  this to happen? Why do you keep accepting things you are not comfortable with?

2)     Stop trying to change your partner. When you are in a situation you do not like, when you are not happy with what ever is going on, you have basically 5 options:

a.    Remain a Victim : (i.e. just complain, be miserable and do nothing, note nothing will change except your unhappiness will grow everyday)
b.    Change the areas of the relationship that pertain to you (deal only with yourself and what you can change about you, Note I said YOU, not your partner, YOU)
c.     Change your Perspective about what you are living (i.e. Change the way in which you look at your situation, focus on the positive more than in the negative)
d.    Accept it as it is (but without complaining and being a victim, accept it gladly, truthfully and enjoy it)
e.    Leave that relationship. If none of the above is possible, if you did all the work you could, if you are truly a better person because of all the process but are still are unhappy, stop complaining and end that relationship.

3)    Leave the Fairy Tale for Cinderella. I would like you to understand that the idea of “happily ever after” does not exist. I’m serious… IT DOES NOT EXIST. blog2 300x256 Love and Relationships %CategoryNot by itself. To experience a life of happiness and satisfaction is to experience a life of self-knowledge and responsibility.  A life where you are focused on understanding who you are, why are you making the choices you are making and seeing the results you are achieving as a result of your previous choices. There is truly no other way.

4)    Happiness is Something we Create. Here’s the thing: everyone believes happiness is a feeling. It’s something a person would feel if only… (my husband would change, my mother would respect me more, I would have more money, I had a better car, I could buy a different house and the list goes on and on…) In truth happiness is not a feelingHappiness is an experience we create in our lives. It is a decision we make or we don’t make on a daily basis. To be able to experience happiness, we have to create an experience of happiness, we have to choose to be happy and appreciate the good we already have in our life. Happiness in relationships is a choice to work on our relationship, and the choice to love our partner. And this choice has to be independent of what she or he does, you have to enjoy being with that person exactly as she or he is.

Relationships are the most amazing opportunities to:

  • Understand who you are
  • Realize why you are this way
  • Locate the areas in which you need to grow, and
  • Most importantly, Empower you to design a life you really desire to live

With all my Love.

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2013 Copyright and All Rights Reserved, Erika Ferenczi & Decode The


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“Relationship and Wealth Mindset Mentor Erika Ferenczi devotes her work to empowering women around the world to have fabulous relationships free of conflict and blame and create extraordinary lives. She teaches women the keys to personal transformation, from victimhood and conflict into living a truly extraordinary life full of love and personal and professional satisfaction. Erika guides women into clarity, direction and strength by helping them understand the unconscious dynamics played in their main relationship and teaching them how to understand those dynamics and use them for their growth, freedom and independence. Get more information at

Get her FREE Report “5 Unbelievable Ways to Transform your Awareness and Allow your Relationships to Thrive” to Uncover and Overcome the 5 Mistakes you are making in your relationship that are sabotaging your business and your life at

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