Do not Suffer in Silence Anymore

by EFER41

Posted by EFER41

Why do women wait until something goes terribly wrong to step out and make a stand for their own lives?

Yesterday I was traveling, something I really love to do. I was at the airport and I saw an interesting sign at the women’s bathroom. The sign had 12 different telephone numbers where a woman could report rape, sexual or emotional abuse, or any kind of mistreatment. I couldn’t believe that there were 12 categories! 12 different phone numbers needed,  all of them  could  help a woman in a specific area of abuse.

Abuse 300x225 Do not Suffer in Silence Anymore %CategoryI couldn’t help but wonder if there was a similar sign by the men’s bathroom. I couldn’t verify if there was, but I certainly doubt it.
So I pondered further; why are woman battered? Why do they at some point or another become a victim of some kind of abuse at the hands of men?

I am sure there are many answers to this question. Male domination has been around for many, many years. Since the beginning of time, men have believed that they are smarter, stronger, and know more than women. And women have accepted this—until now.

The world is changing. Now, more and more women are rising up and stepping into their power. They’re facing their fears and leaving the sometimes false “security” of their homes. They’re braving the world.

Most women rise up because of financial need. Some women do it out of necessity after their husband has abandoned them for another woman or had an affair. Some are simply tired of living submissive lives.

Why do women wait until something goes terribly wrong to step out and make a stand for their own lives? Wouldn’t it be much easier to make independence the next obvious transition earlier in life?  

Women have grown up with this idea that we are supposed to stay home, watch the the kids, and be good house wives (let’s be honest, most women accept that the man will make more money than them, so they hope that they can just relax and stay home). Being completely taken care of is a desired situation. Many women view a man that can take care of them and buy them the things they want as winning the emotional lottery. Yes, it’s comfortable. Yes, it’s nice. But what happens when that changes? Suddenly, life isn’t so nice and comfortable anymore.   

I have lived in many different countries and have known thousands of women. I’ve worked with them, talked to them, and developed deep friendships with them. Despite all these friendships, travels, and life styles I can tell you only a few of them are truly happy.

Why? How is that possible?

Because they are living someone else’s life. Because without even knowing it, they became “children again.” Now instead of answering to a parent, they begin answering to a husband. They have to ask for permission to do something, to travel somewhere, to buy what they desire. Without them noticing it, there are very important areas within them that get damaged and broken:

1)    Their freedom. That innate necessity that every human being has to be the master of her own life, and creator of her destiny.
2)    Their self-esteem. It becomes so low that they start doubting their capacity to live in a different way.

I see it frequently. Here is a brilliant, beautiful woman who is trapped in a situation that she has no idea of how to get out of. And even worse, she has lost the certainty that by her own ability and capacity she can live differently.

And here’s the kicker: men are not to blame. Men, most of the time, have risen to the expectations placed on them. They go out and work and provide. They take care of their families. They make the decisions women ask them to make. However, down the road, women start to realize the mistake they made by giving in to this authority.

After awhile, men start saying NO to what you want. They start to live their life as they please. Meanwhile, you stay home and wait for them to change. Suddenly, you’re asking yourself, Who made him your tutor? Why is does he get to make the  decisions for you?

Let me ask you that same question, “Who made him your tutor? Who put him in control of your financial stability? Of your physical safety? Of your emotional health?”

Why do women give men more power than they should?

It isn’t about making men wrong. It isn’t about blaming them for being strong, powerful, and controlling. No one can be controlled by another unless someone deliberately gives their own power away.

It’s about stepping up; it’s about choosing life over safety. It’s about  not surrendering your own divine right for freedom and independence. It’s about exercising your right to live your life the way you want to.

It’s not about putting your life into someone else’s hands. Sooner or later, you will regret it, and when you do, changing your situation will be much more difficult than before.

Stop believing the princess fairytale. Finding Price Charming will not ensure a perfect, carefree, life.  Open your eyes.  Look around and see the raw reality of betrayed, controlled, emotionally abused, and physically abused women. Men aren’t wrong—but when power is only allowed on one side, things get twisted. This is how tyranny begins. This is when things start to go wrong.

True, it’s nice and comfortable to be protected and taken care of. It’s nice having a man worry about money. It’s easy to let the man control everything. But is it worth it? What is the price you will pay?

The price is your freedom, your security, your self esteem, your belief in your ability, and your belief in your value. In short, the price is your life.

Most people in these types of situation trade their life for an illusion of security. But in reality, there in that situation there isn’t security at all.

I certainly hope you make a different choice.

With great freedom comes great responsibility, but believe me, it is worth it.

We want a world where a woman can step into her divine right to be free, empowered, and strong. We want a world where a woman can live her life based on her values and her goals.

Let’s start teaching our own daughters to do exactly that. However, the best way to lead is by example.

You choose.

With infinite love,
sign Do not Suffer in Silence Anymore %Category


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“Relationship and Wealth Mindset Mentor Erika Ferenczi devotes her work to empowering women around the world to have fabulous relationships free of conflict and blame and create extraordinary lives. She teaches women the keys to personal transformation, from victimhood and conflict into living a truly extraordinary life full of love and personal and professional satisfaction. Erika guides women into clarity, direction and strength by helping them understand the unconscious dynamics played in their main relationship and teaching them how to understand those dynamics and use them for their growth, freedom and independence. Get more information at

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