Are your Emotions in Charge of your Life?

by EFER41

Posted by EFER41

It has always amazed me the unlimited array of emotions that we human beings are able to feel and experience. Furthermore, I am astounded that these feelings and emotions may fluctuate within minutes, sometimes seconds. We can feel them in our bodies, we can feel them in our hearts, and we can feel them deep inside ourselves.

iS Emotions 16704210 copy1 Are your Emotions in Charge of your Life? %CategoryPleasurable emotions are the reason why most people enter a relationship. We have been told that when someone experiences a “high emotional state” it is called Love, and so suddenly “we are in love”. This is why some people claim to have “been swept off their feet”.  Imagine for a second, a woman standing in the middle of a street without doing anything at all, and suddenly a strange and strong “force” overcomes her and sweeps her off her feet. I bet by now you are probably smiling, imagining this scene. This is what we usually call Love, something we are “struck by” and over which we have little control.

Moreover, since this feeling is so pleasurable and envelops our bodies in a hormonal “high”, we immediately become “hooked” on it. Who has not felt that? Who does not love that? If the story ended there it would be fantastic. The issue is that a few years later, when the heightened feelings have diminished and we are left to experience life with its mix of positives and negatives; we say we have “fallen out of love”.

If at some point we are not able to “feel” those positive highs, and we are left with the realities of relating, our conscious mind may be unable to “categorize” those feelings, except with the frame of mind of negativity, this is when we immediately assume we are “out of love”. But before concluding that, let’s explore what an emotion really is.

As per the dictionary, EMOTION is a psychological state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and it is sometimes accompanied by physiological changes called feelings.

While I can agree that an emotion can arise spontaneously in any human being, what is also true is that one of the greatest gifts and benefits of becoming an adult is having the ability to decide what meaning we will apply to each one of our experiences.  In other words, by choosing the meaning we apply to the experience we are having, we can also consciously observe the kind of emotions we start to experience as a result of those experiences.

I can assure you this will be totally different from the ones that would arise when going through this process unconsciously.

In every area of our lives we can be totally certain that at some point the positive feelings will subside and diminish, and in some cases, will disappear all together.  No matter how long the period of time, you can be sure they will fade and go away. The question is– What are you going to do as a conscious adult when this happens? What will you do when you are faced with one of the “givens” of life called “the lows”?

The actions you take in your life will determine the quality of your experiences and ultimately the quality of your life. The question is– Are the actions you are taking aligned with your emotions at the moment or are they aligned with your long-term values and objectives?

Becoming an adult in relationship means, amongst other things, becoming very clear on what your objectives are, what your values are, and aligning your actions and emotions towards the achievement of your goals and values.

Life is not about controlling our environment so we never experience pain, loss, sadness, grief or temporary defeat… trying to exercise control is absolutely futile, as it is only an illusion. At best, you may have the illusion of control, but the truth is that control is just an illusion, no matter how much we try to get it. It is like trying to hold air in our hands.

What it is really important are the tools you use when the unexpected happens and the actions you take when they do happen, because they definitely will… and the actions you take then…. those actions and reactions, will define the course of your life.

So to summarize:

-       We are never “swept off our feet with love”. It is the meaning we attach to the emotions we feel, that consequently dictate the actions we take that will determine if we feel “in Love” or “out of Love”

-       The realities of relating dictate that just as there are seasons in a year, there are seasons in love, and the actions we take in those moments will determine the course of our relationships.

-       We need awareness and consciousness to be able to “witness” our situation, both as the one living the experience and as the one “witnessing” the situation.

-       Being an adult in relationship means aligning your actions with your values and your goals, rather than becoming a slave to immediate satisfaction and temporary emotions.

-       The actions you take at every moment will define the direction and the future of your life.

To your Infinite
Happiness, Health, Wisdom and Wealth

sign Are your Emotions in Charge of your Life? %Category


You can, as long as you include this complete paragraph with it:

“Relationship and Wealth Mindset Mentor Erika Ferenczi devotes her work to empowering women around the world to have fabulous relationships free of conflict and blame and create extraordinary lives. She teaches women the keys to personal transformation, from victimhood and conflict into living a truly extraordinary life full of love and personal and professional satisfaction. Erika guides women into clarity, direction and strength by helping them understand the unconscious dynamics played in their main relationship and teaching them how to understand those dynamics and use them for their growth, freedom and independence. Get more information at

Get her FREE Report “Purposeful relationship” to Uncover and Overcome 6 Unconscious Mistakes you are making In your Relationship that are Sabotaging your life at

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Melanie Walker December 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm

You nailed it! We are at choice on how we interpret the world.


Erika Ferenczi December 10, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Thank you Melanie. Yes we are and sometimes we forget…. Thank you for your comments


Rosinei March 20, 2013 at 1:58 pm

I know, right?? That is one swift kick in the pants! This is what I love about connecting to other beogglrs just when you start to have doubts, there is someone right around the corner to show the way.


Erika Ferenczi March 20, 2013 at 2:24 pm

I am glad you found it useful.


Ilfir March 20, 2013 at 5:55 pm

This is an airtcle that makes you think “never thought of that!”


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