Should I give in into an affair?

by EFER41

Posted by EFER41

ask erika Should I give in into an affair? %Category

This week’s question comes to us from someone who wishes to remain Anonymous

Her Question:

Dear Erika. At my work, there is a temp employee in a group that my group works with on a daily basis. I have realized that there is sexual tension between us, and we have been flirting in a very friendly way for a while now. Just recently I had a sexual dream about him, and now that dream has become a fantasy that I replay in my mind when I am alone. I enjoy interactions with him and get a charge out of it. It is a distraction from some of my own personal issues, but I would never want to hurt my family. Should I stop this?.


Erika’s Answer:


This is a very common situation, thank you for asking.

How ever the answer is not as simple. There are many things at play here. You are correct in saying that this fantasy is a distraction from your own personal issues. I do suggest you take a very good look at what is about your life and your own relationship that may be missing. Also it is important you get very clear at how your own sexual an emotional needs are not being met.

There are millions of people in the planet and having an exchange of energy (attraction) between two people is very normal. Problem is most people believe that when they feel that energy exchange they have to “act on it” which is rarely the case, that is totally a decision you can make, a choice you make.

Other people may even call that energy exchange “love” which is rarely the case. At the beginning what happens is an energy exchange between two people, a sexual energy exchange and attraction at best. There is nothing wrong with that, it is not good nor bad, it just “is”.

You say you do not want to hurt your family. So I suggest you think very well about what you are going to do and do take this situation as a great opportunity to get clear on what you are missing on your own life and how could you better fill those gaps and needs.

There is a quote from a great author that says “An affair is an attempt to make bearable the unbearable”, an affair always has the potential for a great deal of pain for all people involved.

If you wish to live better life I do suggest you focus on the real cause of what is happening (the dissatisfaction in your own life) rather than on the external circumstances happening around you (the attraction you are feeling for someone else).

Beginning by looking within is the first step in solving this situation.

I do hope this has helped you on your next step.

With much love,

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one } June 3, 2015 at 2:13 am

A� Our inner beings never see weakness or negative things.

You’ve got to get deeper into the relational
experiences with other people or whatever it is you are giving
your attention to. Once I used it to deal with a man who
was aggressive towards me verbally.


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